Ashley (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} prophet_maid) wrote,@ 2009-01-22 13:21:00 |
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Blog for Choice Day
Today is the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and like many women, I must mark this occasion with a post.
I am pro-choice. Outspokenly, adamantly, born and bred pro-choice. I was literally raised to be pro-choice by parents who are pro-choice. I will be doing the same with my daughter.
Because I am pro-choice, my daughter will always know that she exists solely because I wanted her. Not because my religion tells me I must breed (I'm looking at you Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity), not because my culture tells me I must breed (personally notable, Indians), not because of any political ideology (Republicans), not for any social recognition, not for any monetary reward (*cough* Duggars *cough*), not to make the world a better place or influence politics in any way (Evangelicals). Not even to please my family (despite my stepmother-in-law's prodding).
I am pregnant for the one truly justifiable reason to be so: I want to. I wanted to be a parent, and thus I will be. I think the fact that I have not been coerced in any way, that this pregnancy is my truly free choice, is vitally important and profound.
And it is my dearest wish that my daughter has this same choice.
I did not grow up believing that I was going to be a mother some day, that it was a foregone conclusion because I am the owner of a uterus. In fact, for a long time, I was convinced I never would be, and not just because of infertility. I similarly believe the same about my daughter. She may be a mother, she may not. That's her choice.
I do not believe that I am doing anything "right" or "good" because I got married at 22 and decided to have children at 22. (Of course, infertility and all means I won't have a child until I'm 25, but that's beside the point), though I have been explicitly told so. I do not believe I did anything "wrong" or "bad" because my husband is not my first sexual partner, or my second, or my third, or that he has done anything "wrong" or "bad" because I am not his first, or his second, or his third, and that neither of us have any other children because of sufficient use of a myriad of birth control options, even though I have been explicitly told so.
I believe that the only way to have a just society is to let people follow their bliss, to quote Joseph Campbell. That means to give every single person the free choice to decide their own life. I may in many ways be living a rather "traditional" (whose tradition?) female life, but solely because I choose to. I could have chosen to go to grad school and pursue a career in history and never had a family; in fact, I almost did.
I expect the same for my daughter. I have no life plan mapped out for her. She may go to college, she may not. She may have children, she may not. She may marry, or not, and may have sex with 15 women or only one man over her life, as she so chooses.
And should my daughter come to me someday and tell me she is pregnant under less than ideal circumstances, my reaction won't be to applaud or denigrate her, it won't be to tell her what to do, but to ask her what she wants to do. And then I will fully support her in any choice she makes, because I trust her enough, and value her enough, to let her make her own decisions.
Because of this, my daughter will be luckier than most, happier than most, and healthier than most. And that, right there, is the legacy of Roe v. Wade.
Today is the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and like many women, I must mark this occasion with a post.
I am pro-choice. Outspokenly, adamantly, born and bred pro-choice. I was literally raised to be pro-choice by parents who are pro-choice. I will be doing the same with my daughter.
Because I am pro-choice, my daughter will always know that she exists solely because I wanted her. Not because my religion tells me I must breed (I'm looking at you Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity), not because my culture tells me I must breed (personally notable, Indians), not because of any political ideology (Republicans), not for any social recognition, not for any monetary reward (*cough* Duggars *cough*), not to make the world a better place or influence politics in any way (Evangelicals). Not even to please my family (despite my stepmother-in-law's prodding).
I am pregnant for the one truly justifiable reason to be so: I want to. I wanted to be a parent, and thus I will be. I think the fact that I have not been coerced in any way, that this pregnancy is my truly free choice, is vitally important and profound.
And it is my dearest wish that my daughter has this same choice.
I did not grow up believing that I was going to be a mother some day, that it was a foregone conclusion because I am the owner of a uterus. In fact, for a long time, I was convinced I never would be, and not just because of infertility. I similarly believe the same about my daughter. She may be a mother, she may not. That's her choice.
I do not believe that I am doing anything "right" or "good" because I got married at 22 and decided to have children at 22. (Of course, infertility and all means I won't have a child until I'm 25, but that's beside the point), though I have been explicitly told so. I do not believe I did anything "wrong" or "bad" because my husband is not my first sexual partner, or my second, or my third, or that he has done anything "wrong" or "bad" because I am not his first, or his second, or his third, and that neither of us have any other children because of sufficient use of a myriad of birth control options, even though I have been explicitly told so.
I believe that the only way to have a just society is to let people follow their bliss, to quote Joseph Campbell. That means to give every single person the free choice to decide their own life. I may in many ways be living a rather "traditional" (whose tradition?) female life, but solely because I choose to. I could have chosen to go to grad school and pursue a career in history and never had a family; in fact, I almost did.
I expect the same for my daughter. I have no life plan mapped out for her. She may go to college, she may not. She may have children, she may not. She may marry, or not, and may have sex with 15 women or only one man over her life, as she so chooses.
And should my daughter come to me someday and tell me she is pregnant under less than ideal circumstances, my reaction won't be to applaud or denigrate her, it won't be to tell her what to do, but to ask her what she wants to do. And then I will fully support her in any choice she makes, because I trust her enough, and value her enough, to let her make her own decisions.
Because of this, my daughter will be luckier than most, happier than most, and healthier than most. And that, right there, is the legacy of Roe v. Wade.
