Ashley

Talent, I has it.

2009-10-14T02:29:25Z

I managed to pull/strain a muscle on my sternum today. Every single movement hurts, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it besides hope that 2 ibuprofen helps a little.

This, after I sprained my toe 2 weeks ago. A winnr iz me!

prophet_maid @ 2009-09-28T23:01:00

2009-09-29T04:03:37Z

On April 10, 2007 we bought a house and promptly tore out all the carpeting.

As of tonight, almost 2.5 years later, we have flooring in every single room.

Victory is mine! The Monkey Room is done!

We still have to clean it up and put in the furniture, but I now havea functional 3 bedroom house. Finally. After 6 months of badgering Kevin about it. It's done :) :) :)

prophet_maid @ 2009-07-14T13:52:00

2009-07-14T18:53:22Z

We have Zubbles!!!! They are awesome!

For the record, "Presto Pink" is actually purple.

Zack Morris, 20 years later

2009-06-09T18:37:02Z

http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/saved-by-the-bell-returns-zack-morris-meets-jimmy-fallon--395

Skip the article, just watch the amazingly creepy video

I'd expand this to Irish as well...

2009-06-07T05:28:20Z

Meme fail

2009-05-19T17:01:45Z

So you know that idea about how we're all fatter because we're sedentary and yadda yadda?

Yeah, total bullshit.

As physical activity expenditure has not declined over the same period that obesity rates have increased dramatically, and daily energy expenditure of modern man is in line with energy expenditure in wild mammals, it is unlikely that decreased expenditure has fuelled the obesity epidemic.

We are as active as people in 3rd world countries, as frigging WILD ANIMALS, and MORE active than we were 25 years ago.

Bottom line, obesity epidemic ideas a utter bullshit.

In things that boggle the mind....

2009-05-08T20:46:29Z

Ok, the trend of taking popular/cultish movies and turning them into stage musicals has gone too far.

First we have The Titanic (which bombed). Then Legally Blonde (which amazingly didn't bomb). Then 9 to 5 (success yet to be determined). And now...

The Wicker Man!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I adore all things musicals, but this is just damn ridiculous. There is no way this could work on stage. None.

Fat hate to the next level!

2009-05-05T15:53:44Z

Ok, this is disturbing

Apparently only super thin women should be on the Supreme Court. Seriously. People honestly believe that. What the fuck?

Heh

2009-04-10T21:50:12Z

So, you've heard how obesity causes sleep apnea, and the fatter you are the more sever your apnea will be?

Apparently, that study was falsified

Dude lied, a lot, and it's now official.

Best Youtube clip. Ever.

2009-04-10T21:09:52Z

It has a full trifecta of things Ashley loves!

A new resolution

2009-03-11T20:36:21Z

I need to stop reading the internet, or at least trying to get medical advice on the internet. Because seriously, it's written to freak me out, and that's just mean.

I'm going ot take my two obscure and easily explained away signs of pre-eclampsia (compared to the normal signs that ACTUALLY suggest something's wrong) and take a nap.

For the record, my midwife says everything's fine, and I'm just being neurotic. Which, I am. Bah!

prophet_maid @ 2009-02-02T00:10:00

2009-02-02T06:13:22Z

I've been watching a lot of the Hercule Poirot mysteries from BBC lately, which were made in the 80s, I think. I find it hilarious how bad their American accents are. Invariably, the American characters on the show speak quickly, rudely, are often vulgar or at least over-casual, and sound like they're in a Western.

The thing is, by the 60s we'd figured out that there are several different and important British accents (My Fair Lady anyone?), but they seem to think we all sound like John Wayne. Yes, even the women.

prophet_maid @ 2009-01-27T22:27:00

2009-01-28T04:31:03Z

Only in a fucked up, fat hating society would we SERIOUSLY believe that 102 is always healthier than 250. And then fuck up people's insides to achieve this

I sincerely believe bariatric surgery should be outlawed, and most certainly not recommended for people as thin as me, as is starting to happen.

Not only have the definitions dramatically changed, but according to the new guidelines, any Indian with a BMI of 25 is now “a fit case for drug therapy to control obesity” and those at a BMI of 32.5 are to have bariatric surgery.

This is what happens when the world becomes obsessed with weight and loses all sight of anything else.

There is more to life than being skinny. Seriously. And if you don't believe that (and I'd argue that about 80% of the people in this country fit that description) you're living a sad life indeed.

Blog for Choice Day

2009-01-22T19:22:05Z

Today is the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and like many women, I must mark this occasion with a post.

I am pro-choice. Outspokenly, adamantly, born and bred pro-choice. I was literally raised to be pro-choice by parents who are pro-choice. I will be doing the same with my daughter.

Because I am pro-choice, my daughter will always know that she exists solely because I wanted her. Not because my religion tells me I must breed (I'm looking at you Catholicism and Evangelical Christianity), not because my culture tells me I must breed (personally notable, Indians), not because of any political ideology (Republicans), not for any social recognition, not for any monetary reward (*cough* Duggars *cough*), not to make the world a better place or influence politics in any way (Evangelicals). Not even to please my family (despite my stepmother-in-law's prodding).

I am pregnant for the one truly justifiable reason to be so: I want to. I wanted to be a parent, and thus I will be. I think the fact that I have not been coerced in any way, that this pregnancy is my truly free choice, is vitally important and profound.

And it is my dearest wish that my daughter has this same choice.

I did not grow up believing that I was going to be a mother some day, that it was a foregone conclusion because I am the owner of a uterus. In fact, for a long time, I was convinced I never would be, and not just because of infertility. I similarly believe the same about my daughter. She may be a mother, she may not. That's her choice.

I do not believe that I am doing anything "right" or "good" because I got married at 22 and decided to have children at 22. (Of course, infertility and all means I won't have a child until I'm 25, but that's beside the point), though I have been explicitly told so. I do not believe I did anything "wrong" or "bad" because my husband is not my first sexual partner, or my second, or my third, or that he has done anything "wrong" or "bad" because I am not his first, or his second, or his third, and that neither of us have any other children because of sufficient use of a myriad of birth control options, even though I have been explicitly told so.

I believe that the only way to have a just society is to let people follow their bliss, to quote Joseph Campbell. That means to give every single person the free choice to decide their own life. I may in many ways be living a rather "traditional" (whose tradition?) female life, but solely because I choose to. I could have chosen to go to grad school and pursue a career in history and never had a family; in fact, I almost did.

I expect the same for my daughter. I have no life plan mapped out for her. She may go to college, she may not. She may have children, she may not. She may marry, or not, and may have sex with 15 women or only one man over her life, as she so chooses.

And should my daughter come to me someday and tell me she is pregnant under less than ideal circumstances, my reaction won't be to applaud or denigrate her, it won't be to tell her what to do, but to ask her what she wants to do. And then I will fully support her in any choice she makes, because I trust her enough, and value her enough, to let her make her own decisions.

Because of this, my daughter will be luckier than most, happier than most, and healthier than most. And that, right there, is the legacy of Roe v. Wade.

How long will people remember this?

2009-01-22T18:07:06Z

Heart disease, diabetes mortality rates DOWN, people living longer

Oh yeah, where's that "all people larger than a size 6 (me at BMI of 26 and officially overweight) will drop dead in the next few minutes from diabetes and heart disease?

Relatedly, 1/2 of people with heart disease have low LDL rates; let's put EVERYONE on statins! Furthermore, since presumed risk factors for heart disease have no bearing on women whatsoever, they now believe that almost EVERY WOMAN is at "high risk" for heart disease by virtue of not following the same damn patterns as men.

Best Damn Hat EVER

2009-01-21T02:04:45Z

That is all.

HOLY FUCK YEAH

2009-01-21T00:25:27Z

Thank everything above!!!!!

I've been scared to death, almost literally, about the new rule Bush put in, set to take effect today, that amongst other things labels "any act" which can conceivably be construed to "causing" the end of a pregnancy to be abortion. It further made it illegal(?) to fire any employee of a health institution if they refused to do any part of their job because of their religious beliefs.

I've read the actual regulation, and it is worded in such a way that, should I wind up in hospital bedrest, an evangelical janitor could refuse to clean my room because of my religious beliefs. It was SPECIFICALLY, INTENTIONALLY worded in this way so that reproductive treatments could be denied to homosexuals.

Obama is not the feminist I was hoping for, but he has been steadfastly pro-choice, thank everything above. This new rule would have amazingly horrific consequences for women's health, and ON THE FIRST FUCKING DAY of his administration Obama put a stop to it!

HOLY FUCK YEAH OMG THIS IS SO OMG YAY!

I can't be any more coherent than that. I was so afraid he'd overlook it and other horrific regs Bush put in in the last 60 days, and he didn't!!!!!!

I'm so proud of my country and MY PRESIDENT!

A few words on the Inauguration

2009-01-20T18:36:33Z

I have to say that it is indescribably cool that my daughter will never know a time when there wasn't a viable female candidate for the President, and when we haven't had a black President.

I cried during his speech today. Luckily Kevin's co-workers didn't see it.

Damn

2009-01-15T15:17:28Z

It's currently -11 out, "feels like -33."

That is all.

To bitch or not to bitch

2009-01-09T23:38:42Z

My OB practice ran an HIV test on me without my consent. I, in fact, have the consent form in my living room right now, which means they most certainly do not have it.

To bitch, or not to bitch.....

prophet_maid @ 2009-01-07T13:01:00

2009-01-07T19:03:34Z

I hate fat hate so damn much, and it's so pervasive it disgusts me.

Today, a woman wrote a letter to the local paper stating, literally, that all people larger than a size 6 (the "overweight") are stupid and lazy.

Shockingly, I responded. Magnanimously, if I might say, though I really wanted to call her a bigoted, paranoid bitch.

I've picked up several new readers in the last few months; here's a hint, in case you were unaware. I will not put up with fat hate. Period.

prophet_maid @ 2008-12-23T14:53:00

2008-12-23T20:53:08Z

Holiday cards?

2008-12-15T01:05:36Z

Who wants a holiday card?

If you do, plop your address here. I'll have comments screened so no stalkers find you or anything fun like that.

Meet a kitty

2008-12-10T02:25:17Z

Here I have incontrovertible evidence that Kevin is a heartless bastard.

This is Butternut. She crawled up there voluntarily, and over three sittings slept there for an hour and a half.

And Kevin won't let me adopt her.

How can you say no to that face?

Clearly, I married a man with no heart.

The future of the 'obesity epidemic'

2008-12-09T03:17:19Z

Apparently India is now facing it's own "obesity epidemic." Of course, it's entirely manufactured as they've made the limits of a BMI of 25 being obese. Furthermore, any Indian with a BMI of 25 is a candidate for drug therapy for obesity, and any BMI over 32.5 should have bariatric surgery.

This is how you do it

Remember this when in 5 years we have similar guidelines. Ours were pared down in 98 with a BMI of 27 being the minimum for being overweight down to 25.